I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
