just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
now i know why i became what i already was.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
