if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
