Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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