I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
