I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
