What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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