how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
