this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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