okay pat passed out under dana's car
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
