you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
