Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The Olympian is in my bed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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