I wish I could teleport
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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