Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
