So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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