I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
