we have pet lesbian snakes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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