Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
