I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Randomize
