He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
