im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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