Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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