FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
