Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
