It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
