Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
