hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
