is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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