I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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