I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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