'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
