True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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