he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
