We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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