She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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