I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
