God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The struggles of a small town man whore
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
