you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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