Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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