just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
