Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
