I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
