you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
