It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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