The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
