i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
