Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
