Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
