It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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