Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
