i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
