Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
