my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
