so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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